“Not only is there often a right and
wrong, but what goes around does come around, Karma exists, chickens do come
home to roost, and as my mother, Phyllis, liked to say, “There is always a day
of reckoning.” The good among the great understand that every choice we make
adds to the strength or weakness of our spirits—ourselves, or to use an old
fashioned word for the same idea, our souls. That is every human’s life work:
to construct an identity bit by bit, to walk a path step by step, to live a
life that is worthy of something higher, lighter, more fulfilling, and maybe
even everlasting.”
― Donald Van de
Mark, The Good Among
the Great: 19 Traits of the Most Admirable, Creative, and Joyous People
I’ve thought a lot about what makes people good and what
makes people bad. It seems so often that people will sell themselves short for
temporary gain. We hear about people lying or stealing or hurting others for
their own personal advances; without regrets or concern. So I have thought
about what makes these people this way. I was talking to some friends last
night and I was talking about my children and how proud they make me EVERY
SINGLE DAY! There is not a day that goes by that I don’t find my mind wandering
when they are telling me a story; I am completely mesmerized by the good that
they have inside of them. They are GOOD people. They are KIND people. I always
believed that because I was raised by a bedridden mother, who suffered a
debilitating disease, that my heart was softened and my outlook on life and the
fairness to others was because of the empathy that I learned at a very young
age. Being raised in a family like this makes you learn how to be a FAMILY. You
have to coordinate who will assist your mother during the day and at nights.
You have to help them shower and eat and even go tot the bathroom. And all the
while you have to be a teenager and have a ‘normal’ life. So I spent many many
many hours sitting in bed with my mother and talking about life. About tv
shows. About hair and nails and boyfriends. And you learn how to care for
people and show them that you love them. I always knew that my good-will was
learned from this exact upbringing. But what about MY kids? They didn’t have to
grow up in this type of home. In fact, quite the opposite, I am strong and
energetic and can leap tall buildings in a single bound (eye roll). These
children of mine wear their heart on their sleeves. They care about others with
so much emotion that it could bring tears to your eyes. They share stories of
helping strangers. They bring flowers to the cemetery. They see yellow butterflies
and know that their grandmother is with them. They are reflective and genuine.
They are not liars or cheats. My friend Tameria said that my kids are good
people because I put my time in. Those countless trips to the parks and museums
and libraries and books we read and camping adventures and family trips; they
are all pieces of the puzzle that makes a person who they are. I remember
thinking when I was little that our family was to ‘family-ish’. Everything we
did was done together and every move made was as a group. We watched my
brother’s bmx races AS A FAMILY; we had dinners AS A FAMILY; we rarely had
‘outsiders’ in our excursions. I can now say that I am so happy that I was
raised that way. I learned what is important in life. This is what my kids are
learning, as well. When we talk about where the boys will go to college, we all
make the plans on where will live in the next year and a half. We navigate as a
group, a pack, a tribe…my tribe. Someone once said that if you mess up raising
your child to be a good person then you messed up the most important job you
have. Dr. Phil called it when he said “how do you fail to raise good people ON
YOUR WATCH”…I like that!...”on your watch”. Well I often look around me and see
all these people that were slacked on someone’s watch. I can honestly say that
I am appalled by the way that some people view the world as if it owes them
something; as though they can manipulate the world around them for their own
personal gain, regardless of whether it is right or wrong. I am convinced that
if you are good and do good, then good things come your way. The law of Karma. Karma
is simply the law of cause and effect. If you plant an apple seed, you don’t a
get a mango tree. If we practice hatred or greed, it becomes our way and the
world responds accordingly. If we practice awareness or loving-kindness, it
becomes our way and the world responds accordingly. So in summary, good
people breed good people. Loving people breed loving people. When you meet a
bad person, simply flip the card over and look at their parents and the people
that are in their lives… apples don’t fall far from the trees….and the cycles
continue generation after generation after generation. At least, if you shake
my apple trees, you will see the fruits of my labor and all my hard work in
raising my four kids will be obvious to whomever they meet…. Ding ding ding four more good people in the
world!!!!! You’re welcome!
