Superwoman

Sometimes you have to take the words of someone else and let them be your guide... your thought process for the day... Words hold such an important place in my life...with quotes...cards...journals...books... and yes, sometimes Youtube poetry readings...such as this....Enjoy, and Happy Sunday to you all !!!!

A Griswold Moment

Looking through my window one would believe that our family tree was decorated with the help of the Griswolds. The mismatched patterns would send Martha Stewart back to a jail cell. You see, I inherited 'Fancy Tree Syndrome' from my father. My mother did not have this trait. She allowed my father to have his tree and decorate it any way that he wanted. Fancy tree syndrome carries several characteristics; usually they have ornaments (usually glass) that all have a similar color structure (usually gold or silver). These trees usually are in the 'fancy room' (living room). On a side note, I used to have a friend when we lived in New Jersey, whose parents would block off their fancy room with string so no one could ever enter the fancy room unless they were allowed (usually holidays). Anyways, these fancy trees were perfection. They would also be the place that the special gifts would be placed. I remember waking up one morning to a moped underneath the tree when I was 12 or 13 years old (insert hospital visit notes here). My mother didn't help in decorating the fancy tree. It wasn't really her thing. My dad always does everything gracefully. Fancy tree in fancy room peering through a front window and BAM Christmas has arrived. Then there was the 'kid tree'. Ya, that was the name of it. The kid tree was the ugly stepsister of the Christmas holiday. Glitter felt snowflakes made at Girl Scouts night...hang it on the kid tree. Oh, a framed picture covered in glue and beads from preschool...hang it. A souvenir from your trip to the Rockettes one winter...here's a hook. A gourd shaped like Santa...move over Rockettes. Baby's first Christmas...First Christmas together...new home ornament...new dog ornament.... you got something for me to hang then just provide the hook and it makes it to the kid tree...otherwise known as the the 'kid junk tree'. I usually do a fancy tree and a junk tree. This year I decided to do a kid junk tree. Ok ok maybe because that was the box that made it from storage...maybe because this has been a tough year and we all need to be reminded about what really matters (you decide). If you come into my home I might give you the 'tree tour'. This tour consists of a detailed description of each and every ornament on the junk tree. As I was unraveling the ornaments yesterday I was taken back in time. Each ornament has a story. As Parker was laying on the couch I would constantly bring him each discovery and tell him a quick summary of the ornaments history. He didn't care much for the details. The junk tree is much like a Dickens' novel of Christmas' past. There are ornaments for Baby's First Christmas. There are ornaments from when I would take the kids to the store and let them pick their own ornament for that year. There is a Sponge Bob dangling from a rope. There is a Minnie Mouse wearing a nurse outfit. There's a rustic star that was used as a place setting at Parker's first birthday party. There are frosted ice cream cones that remind me of what was on our tree when I was growing up. There's a fragile silk silver and gold ball that was on my tree when I was little. The tree consists of glue and beads and framed pictures of days gone by. This tree will never make it into any Chip and Joanna Gaines segments. I don't need it to. I do not care if anyone walks into my home and gasps at the sight of the tree that looks like an episode of Hoarders. What the tree means to me is that we lived. We loved. We shared a life together. We created memories. Each ornament takes me back to a place where time can stand still for a moment.... where Hannah is 7 years old and making a glass ornament with her picture inside, adorned with some gold ribbon... or Ashley writing 'Love you Mommy' in red beads on a piece of wood. And Parker's face glued (so much glue) to a piece of fabric and a tree hook from preschool. These ornaments have been lost in our storage unit for the last several years. This year, when I went to retrieve our Christmas crap, they were front and center with the decorations. How this happened is not quite sure. Maybe we can call it Christmas magic. So this year our Christmas theme is centered around our junk tree. I have filled my home with treasures that were made with tiny hands and big hearts in a time where mommy and daddy were the center of their universe. A time when Christmas was magical. A time when Santa was Superman. I know that everyone has different visions of what Christmas looks like to them. Believe me, I like your fancy trees. Perfectly spaced balls of similar color and ribbon that looks like the wind swept it haphazardly across the tree. Perhaps an occasional glass ornament. Yes! Love it. But that won't be OUR tree this year. This year we are doing the hoarder/junk/kid tree. Just to remind us all of where we have come from and who we are as a family and how much love is in our home. So if you come visit our home this Christmas, grab a cup of coffee or hot chocolate and prepare to sit for a while as I explain the story of the glitter stork at the top of my tree....

Shower, please!!!

I stood in the bathroom with Parker as he was shaving. yes, I am old enough to have a child that shaves…my youngest child, too! Amidst the hustle of the day, between long drives to the ranch to football practices ending WAY too late for a school night, a mother stands in the bathroom with her infant child now morphed into a semi-adult, to remind him to shave. Multi-task to get it all done. Rinse, wash, and repeat. Being a mother can become mundane…routine…There is only so much that can get done in a single day. As the teenage peach fuzz fell into the sink I stopped for a moment. I was remembering the crazy days when they were all babies…bottles, diapers, binkys, formula, baby food (infinity sign). I said, “Parker, I’m trying to figure out if life was busier than than it is now, or busier now than it was then. (yeah, he looked at me confused, too). You know what I mean. Little babies are so hard. They NEED you to survive..literally!!! THEY NEED YOU! I see the moms pushig those strollers and think THANK FUCKING GODDDD that isn’t me. It’s tough. It sucks. It makes you long for the days when it ends and you can at least fricken shower without those tiny little people watching. Actually, new moms schedule their showers. Yeah, it’s quite fun. “Oh no, I can’t do lunch because that’s when I can wash my body during nap time”..yeah, motherhood!!! And then, (drum roll) it happens. They are standing in front of you in the bathroom shaving!!! Here’s the trick moms and dads. The one thing they left out of the What to Expect When You’re Expecting series…. THEY STILL RELY ON YOU FOR EVERY THINGGGGGGGG. You may not be spoon feeding them mashed peas, but you are answering the phone call from a teenager who is ‘starving to death’ (p.s. the call is coming from upstairs because they are sooo tired/busy/Facebooking/Instagram/….. How dare you starve your teenager TO DEATH??? Then they need a ride to and from _________ (insert any place and everyplace). Then they have homework, clubs, football, shopping, riding, etc. Maybe it was easier when I could just put a book in front of them with some crayons, while secretly thinking, “shut up and color”. Maybe the days of choosing their dinners without having to be a short order cook were simpler. And other babies don’t have other babies over to spend the night, so that’s a bonus, too. I now understand why my mom used to say, “You’re driving me to drink” when I was little. Sometimes she would adjust it to, “You are driving me up the wall”. Well said mom, well said. So, as the delivery person of ‘awesome news’ I would like to say I think it just never ends…ever! I’m okay with that (eye twitch). It’s my job. Our jobs. As parents. We are raising human beings, people! We need to be involved at every step of the process. They need us. C.S. Lewis said, “The homemaker has the ultimate career. ALL other careers exist for one purpose only - and that is to support the ultimate career!” It just so happens that this career has no vacation time, pays nothing, and involves working with little soul suckers, but in the long run they are MY little soul suckers!!! It might not get easier, in fact it sometimes feels harder as they grow up. But, that’s my job ‘to grow them up’. Whether you are a new mom, old mom, step mom, surrogate mom, single dad, married, partners, or neighbors, it isn’t easy to do this when the result needs to be perfect. Thanks for listening, now go take a shower why you still have some time..hell, who knows, you might get a chance to drive yourself to drink…..

My Dad

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.