Are We There Yet?

30 years. I was writing a quick post for my daughter Hannah on her 30th birthday. As I sipped my 2nd cup of coffee of the morning, I started to think about 30 years and 'how quickly it goes'. I look at myself as a new Mom in pictures and videos and I miss that version of myself. I often think of myself as all the versions that I have been. In the 'new Mom version' I see a young girl full of worry that I wouldn't get it right. I see a Mom building a family and starting from scratch. A blank slate. Wondering if I get it right and doing everything to make sure that I DID get it right. I was building a family with bare hands and big dreams. I was starting from scratch, guided mostly by instinct and a quiet prayer. Every little decision felt like it mattered. Because it did.

Has 30 years really gone by 'in a flash'? We have been through a lot in 30 years. My hopes 30 years ago was that I would raise happy children. I wanted to make sure that they had strong core memories and stories to tell of a childhood that was full of wonder. 

As I sit here today, alone in my house while my children are most likely still asleep at their own houses, I feel at peace. We did it! I often listen to them tell stories about growing up to their friends. I even have their friends telling me that their own childhood was better because we impacted them in some way or some trip or some school event. We created this life that we are living in today. We did it together. It wasn't always easy; in fact, some of our hardest days often rise to the surface. But we did it with grace. We did it with love, We did it together; our tiny little team we call family.Welcome to what I’ve come to think of as the After Party — the quiet, meaningful season that follows all the building, the striving, the long nights and full days.

This is the space where the fruits of our labor ; the love we gave, the choices we made, the lessons we learned begin to show themselves in the lives we’ve shaped and the people we’ve become. I find myself hoping I get the gift of time; time to see what the next 30 years will hold. To watch grandbabies grow with the same sparkle I once saw in their parents’ eyes. To witness weddings and careers and ordinary days turn into extraordinary memories. There will be laughter, and maybe a few tears. New chapters will unfold before us. And somewhere along the way, we’ll turn to each other and say, “Wow, that went fast.”

But in truth… it didn’t.

It was full. It was layered. It was life. And we were here for all of it.